Cat Correspondence

Dear Libby

I read with interest your blog on the Mobberley Riding School website. I too supervise a small private stable yard in Wales (...and they do need 24/7 supervision...) I am the deep thinker, the brains of the operation. Squeak, my brother, is the yard assassin and is given little projects to keep him amused. The one I find particularly hilarious is when he lies flat on the stable roof in order to catch young swallows in the summer. I have tried to prevent the underlings from yelling, as of course, this gives the swallows prior warning but they are yet to be fully trained in the art of silence.

This is me in the picture above, the dashing stripy chap. This photo is an example of the underlings complete incompetence and lack of organisation. This picture is evidence of the day they stole my bed and made it all wet. I was disgusted and appalled, I mean, how is a cat suppose to sleep on this thing that swings around in the breeze. After a short while it became clear this was not going to work (yawn....it only took them four hours to realise...) and my bed was put back where it belongs. .

Squeak is the black cat lying in wait in the skip bucket, he takes his duty very seriously

We have an OAP called Pie who is 24 years (in underling age) and is well trained in the art of sitting at the fire place and yowling until the fire is lit during the winter months. Indeed, Pie is most impressive in the art of manipulation. Hence the hood-bed next to the fire.

Thought I might add this picture for your general amusement. It clearly shows the lack of intelligence and the level they will sink to get a square meal. I mean, come on, its only a question of training if you want to be fed decent meals twice a day!

Its name is Tinker, very apt as it loves metal and she once stole the farriers tools as a young pup. A complete pain in the tail end. It would tell you its recycling, its not, its just ridiculously stupid. A cat would have to be placed in a wheelie bin, as indeed to my utter horror one was, but this infidel got in out of choice, quite disgusting.

With regard to world domination, may I respectfully offer our services?

Kind regards,

Bubbles